We take our leadership development very seriously, including listening to podcasts, going to conferences, or reading books. Despite our best efforts, there are simple ways we can actually sabotage our own leadership:
1. Say one thing and do another.
We will lose precious influence with those we lead if we make a habit of saying one thing and doing another. Our credibility as leaders will be damaged, and the message we are delivering will be lost.
The people we lead have to know that our word is good. Kouzes and Posner say in their book The Truth About Leadership, “A judgment of ‘credible’ is handed down when words and deeds are in agreement.”
Our track record of credibility will dictate whether or not our words will be believed when they are received. Kouzes and Posner go on to say, “Credibility comes from aligning your actions to your words, and it makes the difference between being an effective leader and being an ineffective one.”
2. Offer no encouragement.
In Hans Finzel’s book The Top Ten Mistakes Leaders Make, he states, “Everyone thrives on affirmation and praise.” I’ve experienced firsthand the power of an encouraging word. Encouragement can have a profound impact, and I’m sure you could say the same.
In I Thessalonians 5:11, Paul says, “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” He saw the value and importance of a simple word of encouragement.
John Maxwell lives this principle out through what he calls the “30-Second Rule.” In 25 Ways to Win With People, he states, “Within the first 30 seconds of a conversation, I say something encouraging to the other person. This helps me to focus on the value of the person and not to be so self-absorbed.” Positivity is contagious. Pass it on!
3. Triangle.
It is human nature to want to triangle or to get people on our side when we have a disagreement with someone. This rallying of people gives us energy and momentum to keep arguing our case, but it can also jeopardize our influence as a leader.
God understands our propensity to triangle, so in Matthew 18:15-16, He clearly defines the proper way to resolve conflicts with others. Let’s look at His step-by-step instructions:
“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses.”
Don’t fall into the easy trap of “venting” to others about co-workers in an effort to rally support to your side. It’s not worth the price you will pay.
In Part 2, we will discuss the final two ways we can sabotage our own leadership.
Question to ask:
How have you been sabotaging your own leadership?
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