Raising Your Standards – Part 1

Have you ever stopped to think about the fact that every part of your life is governed by a standard? The truth is, we have a standard for everything, and we measure everything against that standard.

Relationships, finances, the types of food we eat, the type of sheets we put on our beds, the type of fashion we wear, the level of cleanliness of our house, and the quality of our relationship with God are just a few that come to mind. When you read that list, I’m sure that your specific standards immediately popped into your head.

What exactly is a standard?

A standard is the thing that we have become “okay” with. It’s the thing that we have learned to tolerate in our lives, and it’s what you consider to be the “norm.”

Did you know that you always get your standard? Your standard is the thing that must happen in your life. We don’t always get what we want or desire, but we will get our standard.

You and I are where we are today because of what we tolerate; for instance, if you have a child who is misbehaving, or you have problems with your teenager, it’s because that behavior is what you have tolerated.

If I am unhappy with how I am being treated by a friend or co-worker, it’s because I’m getting what I have tolerated. The only way to experience a different life than what we are experiencing right now is to raise our standards.

How can I practically change or raise my standards?

1. Become disgusted with your current standard.

In order to raise your standard, you have to become disgusted with your current standard to the point of saying, “Enough is enough.” A great story that Jim Rohn tells is the story about the Girl Scout cookies. You can watch the entire story on YouTube here.

The truth is, Jim was broke. A Girl Scout came to his house selling cookies, but he didn’t even have enough money in his pocket to buy any. He explains further that he had to lie to the Girl Scout about the $2.00 it was going to cost.

He had a moment of clarity after the Girl Scout left. Jim realized he was disgusted with his life, and he said, “Enough is enough.” He became so disgusted that he changed his standard of what he would tolerate, and five years later, he was a millionaire.

A “disgusted” son heads home.

Luke 15 talks about a son who asked his father for his inheritance early, and he took it and ran away to go spend it on partying. He began to live “like the Devil,” and eventually, when all of his money was gone, he found himself in a literal pig pin. The son was broke, and he was so hungry that he almost ate the pig’s food for dinner.

What had happened? The son had lowered his standard of living so low that he finally became disgusted with that standard and returned home to beg his father’s forgiveness.

Have you become disgusted yet with your current standard? I believe down deep, people want to change. We desire a better life–whether or not it’s to stop smoking or have a great relationship with my spouse and/or kids. Anything is possible when we become disgusted with our current standard.

2. Change your identity.

In order to raise your standards, you have to change the way you view yourself. Our self-perception and identity was mostly shaped through the feedback that our parents, friends and teachers gave us growing up. As adults, it is shaped by our teammates, co-workers, and bosses.

The truth is that we cannot consistently act in a manner that is inconsistent with how we view ourselves.

Why is it that someone can say, “I want to get in shape in 2023,” and for a while they do; however, something happens over time. They go back to their old ways and get discouraged. The answer is they didn’t change their identity. They still saw themselves as a person who was not fit, doesn’t exercise, and eats the wrong foods. Instead, they have to view themselves as someone who exercises and eats the right food.

I will say it again—it’s impossible to act in a way that is inconsistent with how we view ourselves.

In the Bible, the Apostle Paul is one who constantly tried to remind us of our identity in Christ. He said things like we’re a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17), a royal priesthood (1 Peter 2:9), crucified with Christ (Galatians 2:20), God’s workmanship (Ephesians 2:10), children of God and heirs to His throne (Romans 8:17). Why did Paul do this? Because he wanted our standard of identity to be very high so that the expectations would be great when it came to what we would tolerate in our lives.

Which comes first–our behavior or our identity?

Does our behavior come from our identity, or does our identity shape our behavior? It’s both! James Clear said in his book Atomic Habits that, “True behavior change is identity change.” You and I can act ourselves into a new identity by behaving a specific way. You can act your way into believing something different about yourself. Clear goes on to say that every time you take an action, you’re giving your mind evidence that you are a new person, a different kind of person.

So, you can act your way into a new identity. That’s powerful. How do you view yourself? In order to raise your standards, you have to change your identity and view yourself as someone who can live up to that new standard.

Will you raise your standard?

To raise our standards, it’s important to get thoroughly disgusted with our current standard and change our identity. Join me next post as I finish out the discussion on raising our standards with the final two steps.